A Sense of Tragedy Developed

Prof. Sexson assigned us to develop the sense of tragedy by having a bad day. After my first marriage my perspective of a bad day is more than spilt coffee or missing the last bus. So to tell you of a "bad day" I had last week would be misleading of my true perspective of what constitutes tragedy.
   In the past 17 years I have experienced more tragedy in my life than I had hoped to experience. Not that anyone hopes to experience tragedy, but we expect our fair amount sometime during our life. I'm hoping this is all the gods have set aside for me. The tragedy in my life came at a young age and in my young marriage. Even though it's incredibly personal I have chosen to share it with the class. After this period of my life I tend not to have truely bad days. If my day starts to look ominous I find it doesn't last long before I am reminded of how bad it could really be. Early on in my marriage signs began to emerge on the stability of my husbands state of mind. Being young we did not realize that he was slowly going to loose control of his mind. Only in hind sight do we now know that the events through the early years of our marriage had implied severe mental illness. We worked with what little resources we had, trying to understand what was slowly happening to him, to us, hoping naively for the best. I have learned that hoping for the best is all you can do when it comes to the state of the mind. Medical professionals whether of the modern variety or ancient teachings have little control over the workings of the mind and understand it even less. Excepting that you have little control over the biggest controlling factor in your life is a hard pill to swallow. Once you the pill is no longer a lump in your throat you are forced to face the real tragedy of the situation. Through no fault of his own a young man is slowly losing his mind, his wife, his children along with all his dreams for the future. The loss is heart wrenching for anyone observing it and smothering for the person it's happening to. To clarify the severity of his mental state I will tell you that at the age of twenty seven my husband was diagnosed with schizophrenia.
   Over the next six years, as his illness worsened, his mind started to turn against me, those were bad days. The bad days started to greatly out number the good ones. This period of our lives evolved from bad days into bad times. The last few years of our marriage was rought with daily episodes. The decision to leave him came down to the safety of our two young boys and myself. After six years worth of bad days I chose a divorce.  The second tragedy of this tale is the raising of two young boys without their father. No weekend visitations, no holiday memories filled with the image of their father. It's hard for them to understand why they only receive random phone calls from the man they call dad. They will carry the implications of his illness with them their entire life.
   I know they will not lead lives without bad days, but I do hope I can teach them to not wait for tomorrow to bring something new. I hope to teach them that as long as they have control, then they are the one that needs to turn it around.
   I would like to add that I don't find I lead a tragic life, but rather through the tragedy in it I have become more grateful for the life I am leading.