Sunday, February 7, 2010
Lots of Spoonfuls
I've never liked the taste of stories with neatly presented lessons. They always seem too nice and tidy. Crisp white bibs starched and ironed, faces wiped clean after each bite. A stories moral when spoon fed is no lesson at all, it's exactly what it is, a spoon feeding. Have you ever seen a small child spoon fed? Their plate is clean, but you're not real sure if they enjoyed a single mouthful. Softening the imposing moral of the story places the spoon in the hand of the reader. Hand the child the spoon. Let them pick and choose what will fill them. Some days it might be peas and carrots, the next beets and asparagus. Over the years the child's pallet will grow as they collect lessons. Not until the reader has tasted the lesson can they truly appreciate the moral or for that matter the story. After a good feeding a child always wants to check into dessert options. I quickly made haste of the lessons depicted in the the story Lots' Wife, I go looking for frosted animal cookies. I wonder why the two daughter's motives for having their fathers baby changes. They first mention satisfying their own desires of having children. Thinking that no man would ever have them hidden in the earth as they are. They decide to take their fathers' seed without permission. They then become aware of how this may sound, so they become selfless and mention their father's lineage. Knowing he still would not approve, since it's not a strong argument, they take his seed without permission. The end result is the same, a baby, with their father's seed, not a problem for them. But the two paths are different, the path is what gnaws at them. Outwardly it may look like a translation hiccup of small consequence, because the end result is the same. But their was a change and it gnaws at me. They had chosen to have a child... with their father (Yuck). They just hadn't decided which path would be more acceptable. To whom are they seeking acceptance from... themselves or their fathers' god? The conflict between satisfying their fathers' god or themselves, the same conflict their mother faced. Although the choice the daughters made satisfied both, as they saw it. I don't think they learned the moral of the story from being spoon fed their mother's fate. Maybe the lesson they learned was... learn to work the system. Lessons, morals and dessert.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Snip its
My memories tend to be snip its of much larger memories, which would create a extremely short blog. So I decided to make a list.
my sister in the front yard - of a house I didn't remember living at, until my mom told me there was a house before the coul de sac house.
me entering a house, without knocking, climbing up onto a bar stool at a kitchen counter. I look out the sliding glass door at a pool, eating sugary cereal. The sugary cereal tipped me off, my mother would never allow that in her house. So I asked her about my memory. Apparently we had two brothers living next to us, at the house I didn't remember living at. Each morning I would let myself in their front door and eat breakfast with them. I was around 4 yrs old and tagged on to the two brothers.
The next few memories took place at the coul de sac house.
I was under our car port cutting an orange with a sharp knife. I was not allowed to use sharp knives. I ended up cutting my pointer finger on the hand I was hold ing the orange with, my right hand. I know it was my right hand because I bare the scar. I am right handed, meaning I was cutting with my left less agile hand. I ran into the house, my mother in the kitchen. She told me to go out side and not drip blood on her kitchen floor. So I stood there waiting, knowing I was in trouble. Our kitchen floor had linolium flooring.
I was getting blown across the cement driveway. My dad told me to grab the aluminum ladder on the camper and hold on tight. Rain whipping me in the face. My mom hold a baby, my brother.
A treehouse, hard dirt instead of grass below, alot of kid stuff. These kids spend alot of time in this tree house.back yard. Can see their dad pull in to the drive way. I and my brother are sneaked out in a hurry. I wondered about this memory. I knew it was the kids across from us at the coul de sac house. I asked my mother about it, she told me the dad was not nice to his kids. She referred to him as That Man. I later asked my sister, she gave me more of the gritty details. She said the dad didn't feed them and hit them. She had witnessed him confronting our mom, she threatened to call the official's. My sister remembers our mom feeding those kids on a daily basis. He wanted my mom to stop feeding them. I don't like this memory, but it snaps back into my thoughts often.
Sunday school coloring sheet depicting Jesus with sheep. Our family didn't attend church while I was growing up. We attended bible school while my mother researched different religions.
Plastic inflateable easter bunnies, 3 feet tall, Pink, Yellow, Green. One in the extra bedroom on top of all the storage boxes. One out back in the yard on a stepping stone. The last I can't remember where it was placed. I've asked my mother about this memory. She does not recall ever giving us inflateable bunnies for Easter. We were not even at the coul de sac house during Easter. The Could de sac house was a temporary house while our house was being built. I still insist it happened where as my mother can not recollect.
snip its
my sister in the front yard - of a house I didn't remember living at, until my mom told me there was a house before the coul de sac house.
me entering a house, without knocking, climbing up onto a bar stool at a kitchen counter. I look out the sliding glass door at a pool, eating sugary cereal. The sugary cereal tipped me off, my mother would never allow that in her house. So I asked her about my memory. Apparently we had two brothers living next to us, at the house I didn't remember living at. Each morning I would let myself in their front door and eat breakfast with them. I was around 4 yrs old and tagged on to the two brothers.
The next few memories took place at the coul de sac house.
I was under our car port cutting an orange with a sharp knife. I was not allowed to use sharp knives. I ended up cutting my pointer finger on the hand I was hold ing the orange with, my right hand. I know it was my right hand because I bare the scar. I am right handed, meaning I was cutting with my left less agile hand. I ran into the house, my mother in the kitchen. She told me to go out side and not drip blood on her kitchen floor. So I stood there waiting, knowing I was in trouble. Our kitchen floor had linolium flooring.
I was getting blown across the cement driveway. My dad told me to grab the aluminum ladder on the camper and hold on tight. Rain whipping me in the face. My mom hold a baby, my brother.
A treehouse, hard dirt instead of grass below, alot of kid stuff. These kids spend alot of time in this tree house.back yard. Can see their dad pull in to the drive way. I and my brother are sneaked out in a hurry. I wondered about this memory. I knew it was the kids across from us at the coul de sac house. I asked my mother about it, she told me the dad was not nice to his kids. She referred to him as That Man. I later asked my sister, she gave me more of the gritty details. She said the dad didn't feed them and hit them. She had witnessed him confronting our mom, she threatened to call the official's. My sister remembers our mom feeding those kids on a daily basis. He wanted my mom to stop feeding them. I don't like this memory, but it snaps back into my thoughts often.
Sunday school coloring sheet depicting Jesus with sheep. Our family didn't attend church while I was growing up. We attended bible school while my mother researched different religions.
Plastic inflateable easter bunnies, 3 feet tall, Pink, Yellow, Green. One in the extra bedroom on top of all the storage boxes. One out back in the yard on a stepping stone. The last I can't remember where it was placed. I've asked my mother about this memory. She does not recall ever giving us inflateable bunnies for Easter. We were not even at the coul de sac house during Easter. The Could de sac house was a temporary house while our house was being built. I still insist it happened where as my mother can not recollect.
snip its
Let's not repeat this one
Fore warned this entry is lengthy and purely from memory. I had remembered our assignment shortly after dinner. From what I gathered Sexson wanted details, so grab a snack or a glass of wine.
0130: Somewhat conscience. Listening to my oldest son, Silas, wrestle in his sleep, sniffling and nashing his teeth. He had a bad dream and insisted sleeping with mom would fend off all evil doers. I'm too hot, forgot to turn off the electric blanket, pull the covers off me.
0245: I awoke, stir Silas, ask him to return to his own bed, he asks if he was keeping me awake and apologizes. he's a sweatie when he wants to be. He's wearing blue plaid flannel pj bottoms.
0700: Antelopes...Alarm on BlackBerry goes off. Decide to sleep in. Boy's have school today, but Silas was trying to get sick and Brody, my youngest, is recovering. Figured the extra sleep couldn't hurt. Roll over and try to get back to sleep.
0803: Beep Beep Beep the microwave goes off, someone opens it. From the sounds someone is eating reheated left over McKenzie River pizza.
0811: Still laying in bed, decide I am ready to "start" my day. slippers, robe. Find Brody, curls going each and every way in his red robe bellied up to the kitchen counter. "Hi Mom" mouth slightly full, working on his second piece of pizza with both knife and fork in hand. he's decided to heat each slice independently until he's full. Last nights dinner dishes strewn over counter.
0812: Retreat to the restroom, suns out.
0813: Head for Silas' room, he's more awake than I'd expected.
0817: Grab a torquious cereal bowl, box of Frosted Mini Wheats, spoon, then milk. return milk to fridge, start eating breakfast as I walk into living room and sit down to finish off the bowl.
0825: Done with cereal.Yell to Silas to "get ready for the day, we are already late, we need to leave this house by 0900".
0825-0910: Get dressed, pants from yesterday still cuffed from wearing snowboots day before, clean everything else. Brush teeth. Wash face with wash rag which is not a norm, usually I cleans my face in the shower the night before. Felt refreshing I suppose that's why I did it. Pulled my hair back in a pony. Lotion, ring. Said something to Brody to keep him on track, said something to Silas to get him on track. Made AWAKE tea by Tazo with sugar in the raw. Start the Yukon. Neighbors are back from being out of town. Left the dirty dishes for later tonight, but gathered them in the sink rather than scattered about the counter as the boys leave them. Grabbed my courier bag, water bottle, tea mug, BB, wallet, jacket and the boys. Feel light this morning without my laptop which went tits up last night. I'll be a week without my laptop... Aargh.
0910: Jump in the Yukon, drop the boys off at school, Hawthorne on Rouse. Head to campus via Wilson, Grant and head straight to the SB lot over by the police station. Notice a strong odor when I pull up closer to the lot.
0912: Walking, the smell of raw fuel with a light overlay of burnt something is strong. Have to hold my glove up to my nose, need to wash gloves, walk faster. Wonder. Notice none of the other walkers give any indication that the smell offends them.
0920ish: Approach Renne Library, two girls infront of me slow to allow young guy(brunette) to enter ahead of them, he then holds the door for all of us, everyone says "Thanks". Proceed directly to second floor computer lab, pass two ladies on the landing one says to the other "There's one right there". I reach the second floor take the last open computer, perfect location next to the printers, plenty of elbow room. The two ladies hover trying to locate two computers close together. Good luck it's packed. Notice a wallet, wonder if it's the guys next to me, he's wearing headphones, tap him, ask. No not his, for security on my part I tell him I'll take it to the front desk. I remember my phon's ringer is on, locate it deep in my jacket pocket, silence it. Distraunt guy walks up. "That's mine" grabs the wallet off the printer table, flips it open and shows me his I.D. "In case you don't believe me". I can barely get out " I was just about to take it to the desk". A thought crosses my mind. I hope he doesn't think I was trying to stash it in my stuff, I was in the middle of shoving my phone away when he approached. Oh well.
0930ish- 1240: I recreate two journal entries and eight rhetorical strategies short stories. When my laptop went black yesterday it entombed my writing 101 assignments that are due today. Staring at the printers. They are named Bart, Molly and ???. Nothing corrolates back to where my computer screen said I had printed to. I had to ask a girl (blonde, young, nice) that stood infront of another print. "How does this work" she explains the process in which the printers work, simple really.
1240-1400: Rush over to my Energy-Sustainability class, Reid 105, 180ish students, double that of Fall semester. Only 3/4 of students in place. Instructor Paul Gannon, seems more relaxed than prior lectures, drink in hand. He intorduces guest lecturer Eric Grimsrud, former MSU professor, developed equipment to detect/measure compounds in atmosphere. Was apart of the Ozone layer Hole in the mid eighties. Lecture was educational entertaining. he will be presenting to the public Wed. 7pm SUB Ballroom D.
1400: Start walking towards Wilson Hall, girl in two of my classes hos on her bike, makes it 20 feet, her brake pad assymbly popped loose, I pass her. Pass acroos the paths of three smokers, cover my nose, cover my nose. Stop at the third a former class mate I go to harrass him" Thanks for the polluted air". He doesn''t hear me, he's listening to music, on his sunglasses. Apparently they make sunglasses with built in MP3 players in the earpieces. Cordially chat " catch you later".
1405ish: Sit down in my Writing 101 class Wilson 1-122. Dread takes over. I speak with the professor HHP(Helen Huntley-Porter) regarding my computer and my attempt to recreate all my work, she's understanding but not thrilled. I can turn in my assignment in in two segments.
1525: Leave class, make arraingments to meet Trish later in the evening. trish has a leptop and external harddrive John (Boyfriend)sent with her from GreatFalls. By the way I'm too old to title my boyfriend "boyfriend". I've tried "partner" you get some wiered looks then feel compelled to use the word "he" in the conversation fairly quickly after that. "Significant other" just ends up being a mouth full and "Other half" seems emotionless. So I have a "Boyfriend" for now.
1535ish: Walking towards the SB lot where I had parked, I hit the wall of stinch I had experience earlier that morning. The smell of raw fuel mixed with burnt oil. I find it odd it still looms.
1540: Squeeze into my vehicle since a dark colored jeep ( Engineers log on the passengers seat) sqeezed into his parking space. Leave lot. Someone has plowed a path through the field adjacent from the parking lot, Hmmm.
1550: Sign the boys our of HAWKS, an afterschool program at their school. Brody has stripped off his snow pants, gym shoes and sweatshirt. I find him building a ice/snow block fort, no wonder he's sick.
1550-1630: Snack the boys (carrots, homemade choc. chip cookies), listen to stories from their day of school, gather library books, To Do list.
1630-1735: Head to Public Library to research Silas' science project (The human Diaphragm), give the boys sometime on the computers.
1735: Pull up to Montana Ale Works to retreive the laptop etc. from Trish, meet her friends, cordially chat "Nice to meet you and lets meet soon".
1740: Attempt to drop off computer to repair guy. Closed, Aargh
1745-1820: Head to Wally World, posterboard, tater-tots, chicken fingers, carrot/peas. All frozen but the poster board.
1825: Dinners in the oven, starving.
1825-1840ish: SIT DOWN, get up thermostat set to 72 degrees Farhenheit, leave it I'm cold (must be tired),Call John, get silas started on his science project, Brody plugged into the TV.
1840: Sit down for dinner, coax the last of the ketchup out of two bottles. Boys are too busy telling stories to eat.
2032: Tell Brody to turn off the water in the bath. Return to blogging my day
2042: Yell to Brody to scrub up
2115: "Are those clean socks or dirty?" " Clean" "Goodnight, I Love you" " Good night". Silas is in bed
2118: " Mom I Love You" " Love you too Goodnight" Brody in bed
2119: "Mom" Silas yells from his bed, " I'm Done" I yell from my keyboard. Continue to Blog.
2240: STill Blogging, it's taking forever.
2241: John Calls, Crap my internet connection goes down, Loose everything I've typed in the last hour or so.
2245: Hop in Bed, call John back.
2300ish Fall to sleep.
0130: Somewhat conscience. Listening to my oldest son, Silas, wrestle in his sleep, sniffling and nashing his teeth. He had a bad dream and insisted sleeping with mom would fend off all evil doers. I'm too hot, forgot to turn off the electric blanket, pull the covers off me.
0245: I awoke, stir Silas, ask him to return to his own bed, he asks if he was keeping me awake and apologizes. he's a sweatie when he wants to be. He's wearing blue plaid flannel pj bottoms.
0700: Antelopes...Alarm on BlackBerry goes off. Decide to sleep in. Boy's have school today, but Silas was trying to get sick and Brody, my youngest, is recovering. Figured the extra sleep couldn't hurt. Roll over and try to get back to sleep.
0803: Beep Beep Beep the microwave goes off, someone opens it. From the sounds someone is eating reheated left over McKenzie River pizza.
0811: Still laying in bed, decide I am ready to "start" my day. slippers, robe. Find Brody, curls going each and every way in his red robe bellied up to the kitchen counter. "Hi Mom" mouth slightly full, working on his second piece of pizza with both knife and fork in hand. he's decided to heat each slice independently until he's full. Last nights dinner dishes strewn over counter.
0812: Retreat to the restroom, suns out.
0813: Head for Silas' room, he's more awake than I'd expected.
0817: Grab a torquious cereal bowl, box of Frosted Mini Wheats, spoon, then milk. return milk to fridge, start eating breakfast as I walk into living room and sit down to finish off the bowl.
0825: Done with cereal.Yell to Silas to "get ready for the day, we are already late, we need to leave this house by 0900".
0825-0910: Get dressed, pants from yesterday still cuffed from wearing snowboots day before, clean everything else. Brush teeth. Wash face with wash rag which is not a norm, usually I cleans my face in the shower the night before. Felt refreshing I suppose that's why I did it. Pulled my hair back in a pony. Lotion, ring. Said something to Brody to keep him on track, said something to Silas to get him on track. Made AWAKE tea by Tazo with sugar in the raw. Start the Yukon. Neighbors are back from being out of town. Left the dirty dishes for later tonight, but gathered them in the sink rather than scattered about the counter as the boys leave them. Grabbed my courier bag, water bottle, tea mug, BB, wallet, jacket and the boys. Feel light this morning without my laptop which went tits up last night. I'll be a week without my laptop... Aargh.
0910: Jump in the Yukon, drop the boys off at school, Hawthorne on Rouse. Head to campus via Wilson, Grant and head straight to the SB lot over by the police station. Notice a strong odor when I pull up closer to the lot.
0912: Walking, the smell of raw fuel with a light overlay of burnt something is strong. Have to hold my glove up to my nose, need to wash gloves, walk faster. Wonder. Notice none of the other walkers give any indication that the smell offends them.
0920ish: Approach Renne Library, two girls infront of me slow to allow young guy(brunette) to enter ahead of them, he then holds the door for all of us, everyone says "Thanks". Proceed directly to second floor computer lab, pass two ladies on the landing one says to the other "There's one right there". I reach the second floor take the last open computer, perfect location next to the printers, plenty of elbow room. The two ladies hover trying to locate two computers close together. Good luck it's packed. Notice a wallet, wonder if it's the guys next to me, he's wearing headphones, tap him, ask. No not his, for security on my part I tell him I'll take it to the front desk. I remember my phon's ringer is on, locate it deep in my jacket pocket, silence it. Distraunt guy walks up. "That's mine" grabs the wallet off the printer table, flips it open and shows me his I.D. "In case you don't believe me". I can barely get out " I was just about to take it to the desk". A thought crosses my mind. I hope he doesn't think I was trying to stash it in my stuff, I was in the middle of shoving my phone away when he approached. Oh well.
0930ish- 1240: I recreate two journal entries and eight rhetorical strategies short stories. When my laptop went black yesterday it entombed my writing 101 assignments that are due today. Staring at the printers. They are named Bart, Molly and ???. Nothing corrolates back to where my computer screen said I had printed to. I had to ask a girl (blonde, young, nice) that stood infront of another print. "How does this work" she explains the process in which the printers work, simple really.
1240-1400: Rush over to my Energy-Sustainability class, Reid 105, 180ish students, double that of Fall semester. Only 3/4 of students in place. Instructor Paul Gannon, seems more relaxed than prior lectures, drink in hand. He intorduces guest lecturer Eric Grimsrud, former MSU professor, developed equipment to detect/measure compounds in atmosphere. Was apart of the Ozone layer Hole in the mid eighties. Lecture was educational entertaining. he will be presenting to the public Wed. 7pm SUB Ballroom D.
1400: Start walking towards Wilson Hall, girl in two of my classes hos on her bike, makes it 20 feet, her brake pad assymbly popped loose, I pass her. Pass acroos the paths of three smokers, cover my nose, cover my nose. Stop at the third a former class mate I go to harrass him" Thanks for the polluted air". He doesn''t hear me, he's listening to music, on his sunglasses. Apparently they make sunglasses with built in MP3 players in the earpieces. Cordially chat " catch you later".
1405ish: Sit down in my Writing 101 class Wilson 1-122. Dread takes over. I speak with the professor HHP(Helen Huntley-Porter) regarding my computer and my attempt to recreate all my work, she's understanding but not thrilled. I can turn in my assignment in in two segments.
1525: Leave class, make arraingments to meet Trish later in the evening. trish has a leptop and external harddrive John (Boyfriend)sent with her from GreatFalls. By the way I'm too old to title my boyfriend "boyfriend". I've tried "partner" you get some wiered looks then feel compelled to use the word "he" in the conversation fairly quickly after that. "Significant other" just ends up being a mouth full and "Other half" seems emotionless. So I have a "Boyfriend" for now.
1535ish: Walking towards the SB lot where I had parked, I hit the wall of stinch I had experience earlier that morning. The smell of raw fuel mixed with burnt oil. I find it odd it still looms.
1540: Squeeze into my vehicle since a dark colored jeep ( Engineers log on the passengers seat) sqeezed into his parking space. Leave lot. Someone has plowed a path through the field adjacent from the parking lot, Hmmm.
1550: Sign the boys our of HAWKS, an afterschool program at their school. Brody has stripped off his snow pants, gym shoes and sweatshirt. I find him building a ice/snow block fort, no wonder he's sick.
1550-1630: Snack the boys (carrots, homemade choc. chip cookies), listen to stories from their day of school, gather library books, To Do list.
1630-1735: Head to Public Library to research Silas' science project (The human Diaphragm), give the boys sometime on the computers.
1735: Pull up to Montana Ale Works to retreive the laptop etc. from Trish, meet her friends, cordially chat "Nice to meet you and lets meet soon".
1740: Attempt to drop off computer to repair guy. Closed, Aargh
1745-1820: Head to Wally World, posterboard, tater-tots, chicken fingers, carrot/peas. All frozen but the poster board.
1825: Dinners in the oven, starving.
1825-1840ish: SIT DOWN, get up thermostat set to 72 degrees Farhenheit, leave it I'm cold (must be tired),Call John, get silas started on his science project, Brody plugged into the TV.
1840: Sit down for dinner, coax the last of the ketchup out of two bottles. Boys are too busy telling stories to eat.
2032: Tell Brody to turn off the water in the bath. Return to blogging my day
2042: Yell to Brody to scrub up
2115: "Are those clean socks or dirty?" " Clean" "Goodnight, I Love you" " Good night". Silas is in bed
2118: " Mom I Love You" " Love you too Goodnight" Brody in bed
2119: "Mom" Silas yells from his bed, " I'm Done" I yell from my keyboard. Continue to Blog.
2240: STill Blogging, it's taking forever.
2241: John Calls, Crap my internet connection goes down, Loose everything I've typed in the last hour or so.
2245: Hop in Bed, call John back.
2300ish Fall to sleep.
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